Cape Off: Self-care as a remedy for the Superwoman Syndrome

“Self care is how you take your power back.”

Superwoman syndrome

Last year, I experienced extreme burnout. I gave until I couldn’t give anymore trying to be “everything for everybody.” I did it all: worked full and part-time as a nurse practitioner, managed a blog, worked towards a healthier lifestyle, served in my church and community, had somewhat of a social life, traveled, kept in touch with family back home… the list goes on! Notice, I didn’t include myself in that equation because that literally was my reality. I spent so much time pouring out that I never poured back into myself. This left me weak, depleted, and empty in so many ways. I learned that this was called superwoman syndrome–wanting to do it all and play multiple roles perfectly but underneath it all suffering anxiety, exhaustion and burnout.

Taking my power back

At some point, I felt like hustling was the way to success, I cared more about how others perceived me, and I was extremely hard on myself by striving to be “perfect” in every way. I had tricked myself into thinking that I had to show others how hard I was working at all times rather than take time to rest, revive and restore. Now, I realize that self care is the remedy to this superwoman mentality. I don’t have to be everything for everybody. And, it is unfair for me to be so hard on myself.  I can be “super” without having to be superwoman and give myself grace without the fear of appearing weak. Self care is how I take my power back!

Cape off

In lieu of International Women’s Month,  I’m here to remind you it’s time to take care of yourself! Take the cape off, sis. When is the last time you took the time to check in with yourself? What do I want? What do I need? How could I spark more joy in my life? We spend so much of our time tending to the needs of others that we often put ourselves on the back burner. Yes, we are doing a good deed by serving others, but not at the cost of sacrificing ourselves. Putting our personal needs on the back burner can be detrimental to our mental, physical, and emotional health in the long run.

An ode to self care

No, self care is not always bath bombs, facials, massages and candles. While those things are great and necessary at times, we must realize that self-care is a daily practice of reclaiming your own time. Sometimes, it’s doing the inner work, forcing stillness in our routines and putting an end to toxic behaviors. It’s taking care of ourselves and making decisions that are in our best interest daily. Here are 10 ways to take the cape off and take care of yourself:

1. Meditate

Take at least 10-20 min per day to practice mindfulness. You can practice this by sitting still, removing all distractions, and becoming one with yourself in silence or with guided meditation music (here). Inhale/Exhale. Count to ten. Eliminate all thoughts in your mind. This practice not only helps you get in touch with yourself and your inner emotions, but it also relieves stress and anxiety significantly.

2. Express gratitude

Writing down things you’re grateful for helps you to focus on the positive things that are happening in your life. The more things you’re grateful for, the more things will come to be grateful for.

3. Schedule a “me” day

When is the last time you became present with life? With yourself? Taking time to rejuvenate is a key factor in the process of plotting our “next move” and making it our “best move.” Every energy source needs a period of time to rest and recharge…including you! Take yourself out to dinner, to the movies, or even try a new hobby!

4. Say “no”

We have to learn to say no to things that we don’t want to do, don’t have time to do, or are unable to commit to doing. How many times do we inconvenience ourselves for others by saying yes to things we really don’t want to do? Let’s start saying “no” to any requests to your time, energy and efforts that don’t align with your wants or needs. It is okay to be selfish to preserve your sanity. People pleasing can become a toxic trait if we don’t learn this concept. 

5. Exercise

Exercising has so many benefits! It helps us feel better by increasing your mood, improving your physique, increasing your energy, promoting better sleep, and reducing stress. Exercising at least 30 min at least 3x/week can make a difference in your physical and mental health. 

6. Wake up earlier

This allows you to incorporate a morning routine. Your morning routine may include reading, journaling, planning your day, praying, meditating, or completing your daily devotional. How you start your day is critical because it sets the tone for the rest of your day. Starting early with a morning routine allows more time and clarity.

7. Protect your peace

Get rid of anything that interrupts your energy, including toxic relationships and toxic behaviors.  You have to protect your peace at all costs. Don’t hesitate to cut of any and every source of negativity including people, places, things, music, social media accounts, or habits. Keep your spirit positive and full of joy.

8. Give yourself the love you’re extending to others

Practicing self-love starts from the inside out. How you speak to yourself matters more than you know. Look in the mirror and tell yourself, “I love you. You are so beautiful.” Every day, make the conscious decision to love on yourself, flaws and all, and appreciate your own beauty. You must not rely on others to be the first people to do this for you.  

Remember, you are only one person and it is unrealistic to believe that you can do it all and be everything for everyone. Don’t delay and put it off until you complete everything on your to-do list. Oh, it can wait! Trust me. Sometimes it takes more courage to stop than to keep going. Yes, you may feel like you could be “getting more stuff done” or “helping others” but don’t let it be your downfall. If you want to have a big impact without compromising your health and well-being, be kind to yourself. That mindset shift alone will help you soar even higher. You are enough. How do you plan to take care of yourself this week?

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Disconnect to Reconnect: What I learned during my social media hiatus


“I feel like I’m constantly worrying about the next part of my life without realizing that I’m right in the middle of what I used to look forward to.”

The Wake-Up Call

If you recall from one of my very first blog posts, I knew that 2018 would be different–and it was! 2018 was simply an amazing year. I can honestly say that I seized every opportunity that came my way and attempted to maximize my potential in every area of my life. I accomplished (or at least attempted to) almost every goal I set for the year. However, I realized that I never had a chance to celebrate myself and express sincere gratitude to God for all He had done. I never actually took time to let it all sink in. And finally, I didn’t consider my needs and wants. I was definitely grateful and happy, but I would immediately start planning for the next way to progress. I realized that sometimes we have a tendency to place so much pressure on ourselves to be who we envision we should be, instead of acknowledging and celebrating the fact that we are evolving.

Hat: Amazon | Jacket: Ross Stores | Shorts: Forever 21 | Boots: Ego

The Hiatus

That wake-up call prompted me to take a 21-day hiatus from all forms of social media. I knew it was time to unplug from the distractions, express gratitude, and be more present in the moment. Social media was a major distraction for me, so I knew that eliminating it would free up much of my time. I was so “plugged in” that I was draining myself. I found myself pouring into others before I would even pour into myself. I was burned out and depleted and we all know that you cannot pour from an empty cup.

The Lesson

My 3 week hiatus taught me a lot! I completely shut everything down and took time to look within. I received so much clarity, developed a new outlook on life and even developed a new morning mindset routine that I plan to share in a future post ☺. I dug deep and had some great reflections on this year and God revealed the following takeaways to me that I would like to share with you all:

  1. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Fill your own cup before you pour into others. 
  2. Comparison is the thief of joy. Remember, Social media is only the highlight reel. Don’t lose sight of your journey by comparing your life to the “best moments” of others.
  3. It takes more faith to stop, than to keep going. It’s easy to continue operating in dysfunction because its comfortable. Interrupting toxic patterns is a huge step because it forces you to know that the temporary discomfort will be beneficial in the end.
  4. Social media is the handshake, not the end goal. Social media is a great way to connect with others, but you have to remember to focus on what you’re building for yourself (your self-concept, business, website, brand, etc.) It’s all about balance.
  5. It is important to embody your brand—in real life. I’ll use myself for example. How can I say I am “on a living spree,” when I am not “living” in real life? We have to stay true to ourselves, our morals, and our purpose no matter what. If you notice you’re compromising brand integrity, make a change!
  6. Gratitude is the key to living a powerful life. The more you’re grateful for, the more comes for you to be grateful for. Simple.
  7. Don’t look around, look within. Don’t seek validation from others. “When your worth isn’t based on their claps, you won’t be broken by their silence.”
  8. Self-care is also reclaiming your time. Everything will work again if you unplug it, including you. Take care of YOU!
  9. Purpose over popularity will always win. Don’t get the popular circle confused with the winner’s circle. Focusing on your purpose won’t always be the “popular” thing to do, but it is always the right thing to do.
  10. The only expectations you need to live up to are your own. Never feel like you have to live up to the expectations of others. Hold fast to your own beliefs and values and follow your own moral compass.

The Evolution

Above all, this hiatus revealed to me the evolution I have made throughout the past few years and I couldn’t be more proud! It is my hope that we quiet our minds and our hearts and allow ourselves to revel in our progress and process. No, taking a social media hiatus may not be the route for everyone to completely alleviate their distractions and reach within, but it was for me. However, I promise if you do take time to slow down and express gratitude, you will experience more fulfillment than ever before.

Photography: @jp.hanney_visuals

Stylist: @thefashionchase

Setting: Downtown, Houston, Texas

As always, thanks for taking time to read my blog! Do me a favor and share this with others who may find this intriguing and helpful. Until next time, let’s go on a living spree!

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